When Avery was here with us, I wanted to purchase him a sock monkey. But the only ones I could find at the local store were, in my opinion, too expensive. I just could not justify spending the money on something so frivolous, no matter how cute the item.
And then the unthinkable happened. Avery went to Heaven.
I was tortured with thoughts of regret, "I wish," and longing. Oh, how I wished I could buy him a sock monkey. I wished I could have seen his smile when he saw his new toy.
One day, shortly after Henry was born, I was hit with an amazing idea. I would buy two darling little sock monkeys, one for Henry, and one for Avery. I ordered one and waited impatiently for the package. When it arrived, I showed the little monkey to Henry and hugged the second, sending hugs up to Avery.
For me, the sock monkey is a reminder. A reminder to keep living, keep loving, keep moving forward, one step at a time. It is a reminder to not let things stop me, to not be afraid to bless others. In my case, it is also a reminder to not be so tight-fisted with money; if I am able to bless someone, I should.
My sock monkey likes to sit with me as I write. Sometimes I pause and pick him up, missing Avery. Someday soon I will get to hold him and tell him about his little monkey I bought him. I will tell him how he taught me to live. I will tell him I love him, and he will whisper, "I love you too, Mommy."