Friday, April 26, 2013

Dear Pregnant Mom...A Rant

Dear Pregnant Mom,

I get it. Pregnancy sucks. You feel icky, tired, sick, swollen, you can't sleep, your back aches, and on and on. You wish the whole ordeal were over. But really? Are you that miserable that you have to make every Facebook status update one in which you complain?

I understand that Facebook is an outlet for emotions and maybe you feel that you get some support by constantly complaining, but just for a moment, stop and think. How does this look to others? If I stop by your page and I see multiple status updates on how miserable you are, that is going to tell me that you don't want to be pregnant, that you don't want this baby.

You may want your baby, and probably want this baby very badly (for the rest of the post I am going to assume that you do), but your words convey something very different. Look at these "status updates" and see how you think about the person:

"Ugh! This is horrible...I can't sleep. #ihatebeingpregnant"

"Oh yay. Another loooong morning at the dr. Can't wait for this whole thing to be over."

"Sick and tired. #pregnancy #nofun #iwishitwereover"

"My back hurts, my feet hurts, I'm tired and I don't feel like cooking much less eating. I'm so over this."

"Only a few more weeks of misery. #pregnancyishorrible"

"Stretch marks are soooo ugly. I hate them."

All of these updates could have been written by someone who is excited about their child, but you would never know it.

As a parent who has had several losses, reading status like these sadden me. Children are a gift and when I see updates like the above in my feed, it makes me wonder if you are really treasuring what you have been given. I feel that maybe you don't deserve this, that I should have the same opportunity because at least I would be happy about my baby. I'm not being mean spirited, I'm being honest. When I see stuff like this, it makes me angry and sad.

So maybe before you hit that "post" button, think about what message you are conveying. Are you glad you are pregnant? Let us know. If others can't have their own little ones to love and cherish, they at least want to know that some other mommy is happy and will love and cherish her baby.

If you don't stop complaining, I will hide you. Sometimes the pain is just too much.

A Mom

PS: The status updates are fake but I have seen too many complaining updates to know that they can be all too real. If you have posted one of the above to your Facebook page, you may need to re-think your actions.


  1. I whole-heartedly agree. I think if the complaining women took a moment to imagine what someone who has experienced infertility or pregnancy loss would likely feel, reading their complaints, & wishing they were fortunate enough to have swollen feet, achy backs, a "bladder-bouncer", etc., my guess is they'd realize why their words might wound. Maybe your post will help others to be more sensitive, in this respect. My own mother went through 6 pregnancy losses, surgery, unfeeling doctors, near-constant morning & afternoon sickness, & even forced herself to eat liver weekly (I'm old, & back then, it was recommended), but tells me it was all 100% worth it to have me. She almost died when I was born, & had to have a great deal of blood replaced, but counted it all JOY, weakly singing hymns (I'm not kidding!), as she drifted in & out of consciousness, & doctors worked to save her life, because she felt BLESSED just to have a living, if early, child! I think people become so short-sighted w/ their own experience, that they forget others may be hurt by what they share. I'm sure I do it often, myself, about things besides babies. Hopefully, this blog-post will point folks in the right direction, so they can be more sensitive to those who read & hear their words of complaint as ingratitude, because of their own losses & hurts..

  2. Love it "A Mom". I am glad you feel better now that you got this out. I think everyone could use some sensitivity training on Facebook. Glad you shared it.

  3. "A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21