Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I Am Afraid

I am afraid.
I am afraid that something will happen.
Something bad.
After all, something bad did happen.
Three times.
I am afraid.
I am afraid that I will have empty arms yet again.
That I will lose.
That I will spend sleepless nights crying.
That I will fall asleep and wake up to a nightmare.
I am afraid.


I am trying.
Trying to hope.
Trying to heal.
Trying to make sense of the senseless.
Trying to live.
I am trying.
Trying to take one step at a time.
Trying to love.
Love unreservedly.
Living as if today is the last.
I am trying.


I am afraid.
Afraid of not trying.
Afraid of not loving.
Afraid of not living.
Afraid of going to a dark place.
And so I am trying.
I can’t understand but that’s ok.
I move forward.
One step at a time.
Being afraid and trying anyway.


  1. And that is what makes you brave. Being brave is being afraid out of your mind and still going for it. And also for writing about it on here, and posting it.

    I love you so much.

  2. so beautiful, Audra - I love you

    Kathy P.